This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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