I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
