Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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