Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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