its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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