Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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