I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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