I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
