True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
