he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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