my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
organizing the empties. That sober.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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