I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
