I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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