then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
