So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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