doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
