question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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