There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
