Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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