just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
