How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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