It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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