It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
