and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize