What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just invented taco cereal.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
