Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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