your thong is hanging out like whoa
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
