nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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