Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Your cock deserves a montage
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
