I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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