Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
