Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
