it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
