I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
