I don't think brook has ever known best
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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