you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
