I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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