god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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