I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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