dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
