She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize