She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
