So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
