What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Less talking, more tequila
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize