haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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