We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
