WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
