bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You were trust falling into bushes
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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