i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
