My hair reeks of homosexuality.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
