I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize