I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize