Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
