have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
