he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
