I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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